It's all about the money.

Money, £, $, MONEY! 

In for the change.

Well, as it's a new year I'd thought I will update this, and I am going to try and post a blog at least once a week! Maybe every Monday .. Anyway I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and New Year send off. I spent It with my Mum and Nan.. It was the first Christmas without my Grandad, It felt ever so weird and strange with doing less and being with less people, although I did have to make the Christmas dinner with my Nan as my mum was working till 2pm, and no i did not burn it!! It actually turned out lovely. By the end of the day I had won £3 with playing deal or no deal board game, though I won't tell my Nan or Mum that i actually followed the £100,000 box around and chose the right one, ;)

2012 brought lots of pain and loss, with the death of my Grandad (forever rest in peace) on the 10th of Jan, which is close to a year and It still doesn't feel real. Amongst this I started college for my 3rd year, had to start new classes, meet new people all over again, and I think I'm nearly ready to go to Uni, however I have a very simplistic brain and I'll probably get more stressed and confused before i even get accepted into Uni let alone start.. But that's for me to worry about over the summer whilst waiting for results! From now on I'll have to put double effort in everything I do to really achieve what I want. 2012 also brought new oppotunites and experiences, however I'm stuck with the old, it's comfortable and I truly wouldn't want to change what I have and don't have.

2013 - Bringing it all to one, this is the year I'm going to finally be able to start experiencing a new perspective on life, with finishing college (FINALLY!!) and hopefully going to UNI to study Photography as an degree. Wishing to move away from home and family will be hard, but I want to widen my horizons and become independent, as I fear if I never leave this place, I will never change.  I'm worried that if I'm never fully alone, with no help and no one to turn to I'll always be hanging on by other people and never be my true  self.

As well as Uni prospects, I wish to finally get a job (Yes you may call me a bum, but I have been in education, and I've never really needed the money). I want to create an actual real life and become the person I want to be. To look different, and to be able to do all the things I couldn't do without getting too far into it.

Anyway, I'm really hoping that this year will be the big one, the life changer and the one to bring happiness and life back into me.

Wishing everyone a wonderful 2013 with many more years to come!

Live, Laugh, Love.

Peaceskies <3

I'm feeling like this could be it.

I've found it, I've finally found it! All along and it was there just waiting to come out. Happiness, I've found it and I'm never letting go.

Moving like a balloon

Explanation: A balloon either falls to the floor, eventually deflates or is popped which leaves nothing but the outside remains of the balloon itself. Or it floats up and gradually reaches its highest peak until it can't go any further and just pops. - The meaning of this is that what goes up must come down.

So, what does this exactly mean Meg? Well, it can mean whatever you wish it to mean. I can't tell you to believe or do anything, but I can persuade you. That's a trick worth learning, because without it, I don't think you'd survive.

Now either you reach your lowest point in life (which basically is when you die, because nothing could possibly be worse than that? Right? ) Well no, but you think it is, ok now that I’ve told you that nothing is worse than being dead, I bet that 1 million reasons for saying "that’s not true" comes to mind. Yes, well done you've gained access to part 2 of being a balloon, strange huh? I'm saying that you start off as a baby, grow up in a situation, reach a point where you think 'fuck this' and i'm telling you, EVERYONE reaches this point, because nothing can be perfect, even the rich little kids that get everything can fall over into a bush full of nettles and be scared for life (yes this happened to me, however at this point I was wealthy, well my parents were.)

Right so at this point I bet you're wondering where this is leading? Well me too.. I'm writing this as it comes to mind, nothing is planned. So now that we've all gathered we were once a baby and money is an object, we can start to gain access to part 3. Yes! Isn't this fun? Part 3 of a balloon.. you begin to aim higher and higher in life, going through many changes in emotions, decisions when eventually you're at the peak, BANG! Oh? whats that? Yes you've popped, and gained access to the real life you should have been living while you were floating up high to reach this moment.

Well done!

If you got none of this, I’ll allow you to be taught one thing at the very end. Nothing can be as good as it can be until you realise that there is never an end to success, If you fall (pop) get that ass back up again and move on to something better!

Life is only as good as you make it.

Peace Keys <3 P/s hope you liked the game, but never be a balloon, you always loose that air that keeps you up.

I've finished... Or have I?

(Been a long time coming, but here it is.)  Yes I've finished my two years at 'good old' college, and after working out what I want to do with my life.. Well I've decided I need more time figuring out this, I mean theres so many things I would love to do but unfortunately, most of it is a bit extreme and I frankly don't have the brains for it. So I guess my solution is to go back to college for a 3rd year and work hard for another year to gain more UCAS points (grades) to be within a chance of getting into UNI. As that is my main goal, I reckon the longer I stay within the education system that I will buy (literally) more time with what i choose to do. 

I really should get back into this.. and I will!

Peace keys <3

Gettin' Down to Business

So I have my A-Level exams coming up and I'm still not sure on how I will do. I mean I'm aware of all my subjects and what I have to revise and remember, just that my brain cannot fully function! But I think thats just nerves and what have you. But i really want to make a go of it, i didn't spend my whole life in education to come out at the end worse off than i thought i would be. I think it's because I have so many things I would like to do, which I can't find one specific subject i love and would like to take into my future.

For example; I would love to be a perfessional photographer, however you need money for the equipment and skills I just can't seem to get the jist of. I mean i take alot of good photographs, but I just would like to be able to have one of those fancy cameras and be able to travel to the places I love to take photographs at.

I also would love to be an indepth Geographer/Geologist, not specificly a teacher, as I can't handle kids or people for that matter. But Iwould love to know everything in the world, where things are, how things happen, ectect. This takes huge amount of paitence and understanding and knowledge I just can't handle.

I have began to like journalisim too, which I think fits in well with how much I like photography, it would help alot and one of the main reasons I do Blogs is to see how well I can write and be able to capture attention with words. It would take alot of courage and disadvantages to get into this kind of business but I think I would enjoy it, and that's what life is about. If you don't enjoy your life and what you do in it, then I don't think you could fully enjoy anything you do.

I guess if I want to persue my deams and goals I will have to work extremely hard for them, like everyone else does. I just wish things could be as simple and easy as they are on paper.

Oh My Days

I really don't understand people these days. They either can make you really happy or just really upset and angry! I can't help but feel so much remorse for these people! And I just don't know whether I can take it. My emotions run high 24/7 and I have no control over falling apart over something so so so stupid! I mean I was even watching the film Wall-e and I cried! 

Why do some people have no idea how they make over people feel? Either they are totally oblivious to it or they just know having resentment is the best way to feel about these things. I want to know why people can have such a hold over someone and not know that they are destroying every last inch if their bones! 

My head is all over the place, and with people treating me like I'm nothing better than something you tred on then what's the point in trying to make it work? The most awful thing about it all is that it seems to be all my fault. Because I'm apparently such a bad person and because I have maybe more issues than some other 'sane' person that I can't be perfect like apparently everyone else but me is. 

Sorry for the rant! I can't sleep and I'm filling up with anger every second that people don't realize whats happening. Tarra! Peace keys <3